Heinous; Adjective-


Grossly wicked or reprehensible; abominable: a heinous crime.
B-I-N-G-O! This deck is a heinous crime....okay, okay maybe that was a little harsh.

Seeing how this is my boyfriends back deck, my decision to offer him a $100.00 (yeesss- I did say one hundred dollars- and a confident one hundred dollars at that! ) makeover challenge has the potential of two outcomes....

A.   The deck comes out looking worse than before (Yeah I know....hold back the tears from your whole hearted laugh. I mean it could burn down; that would be worse right???)

B.    It turns his home into a total bachelor pad and he dumps me for a 5'10" supermodel with bleached blond hair and no personality. (Please...that's every woman's nightmare-I just happened to say it out loud.)

I know, B-R-E-A-T-H-E; second picture and it keeps getting sadder (Why is that table next to the grill? What in the world does he possibly put on that?), but I have to weigh my options here gentleman, I am for that matter young, and willing (ok-excuse me "able") to take a hit here...I have to muster up the confidence to embrace which-ever outcome will prevail!

(What are the odds it turns out to be option B?)
Will he someday romance a new girl on the porch that this girl brought into the twenty-first century? Will they discuss my sense of style, or creativity over a cool glass of Chardonnay as they stretch their legs out on the perfectly upholstered ottoman in front of them-designed specifically by Ashley? ( Is there already an Ashley furniture store? Note to self---check into personal business loans) Or my ability to work a standard miter saw? No, no I tell you,  I will have been an erased memory, a lone reed...a beacon of...
where were we?
Yes, yes-the deck...
 (That's rain on the deck. It isn't actually weathered as you were thinking. Don't worry; I already managed to personally insult him this morning, when I proceeded to asked him if I should, "rent a power washer so we could restain." His annoyance surfaced with, "Ashley-it was raining outside".)
B-I-G Oops!!!
So yes; to wrap this up I did find a pattern for a perfect table and chair set. (What?Am I going to show you? Now where's the fun in that?? For heaven's sake don't kill the momentum here.) Okay, maybe a little "sneak peek"?

(I know! Super cute right??? I actually had my roommate pry it from my super-duper-grip-lock as we carried it to the garage for final sanding. So far so good...)
I needed to save money, if I'm going to "nail" this thing. (absolutely no pun intended-it just rolls off the tongue now) So I gave some of my flower pots a paint job. (aka-recycled them- for all of you environmental buffs out there consider them "organic") I prefer to consider them...cheap.

Where are we on budget??? (Dim the lights-pull up the quarterly report) Lets look at numbers....(drum-roll please...)
  • Lumber-$62.04 (Purchased at Lowes with a carpenters discount)
  • Hardware-$5.04 (This includes 2 inch and 2 & 1/2  inch screws)
$32.92-Left to Spend

It's not over don't worry-we've only just begun. Really you need to calm down, I will find a way to buy paint and seat cushions and flowers for those pots. I will just do what I do best. I will follow "somewhat" of a budget and whatever I go over, I will simply lie. To him, not you...please....
(It's a pride thing)

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